I will admit that patience is not always the easiest of character traits for me to embody and project. I have certainly gotten better at it over the years but I think it’s interesting how we can sometimes believe we’ve come so far in one aspect of our life, like patience, when another test comes along. What’s even more interesting, to me, is how we may have had similar situations that occurred over and over till we finally got it but the same test shows up, yet again, wearing different clothes or wrapped in a different situation and as the event unfolds, there are nuances that are inevitably, entirely new and as such, so then is the lesson.
This of course leads me to the question of; how deep and wide does the characteristic of patience go? Then I think…do I really want to know? Ha! Probably not. Especially if it means undergoing a relentless amount of trials that seemingly exceed my capacity for this particular virtue. Raising 4 children as a single mother was test enough and my idea of a nice retirement, at that point, was a room with 4 padded white walls, a straight jacket and hopefully an IV of some fantastic cocktail, if I made it that far! Two are now grown and two will both be in high school next year, so I’ve made it and no longer have the need for the padded room fantasy.
Now, it seems, that as my tests of patience have graduated, so have the tests themselves, graduated to new levels. Now I see that patience, like any virtue, is as deep as an abyssal trench or as vast as the Universe, which is ever expanding. It is a strange concept to attach to something so intangible as a quality of character, but it is precisely because of it’s intangibility that gives any quality of character it’s unfathomable depth. Think in terms of love, hope or compassion…they are all only bound by the very limitations we, ourselves, place on them. In reality, they are as boundless as the Universe itself.
Ah yes, my patience, as of late, has been under attack by forces beyond my control. I will eventually share these experiences, however, now is not the right time. This inaction is an act of patience itself, I suppose. It reminds me of a quote from Mia Angelo;
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”
I can only take comfort in knowing that I am working on it and that the story will be told. In the meantime, I can only work on my projects, take care of myself, wait and practice the art of patience.
I have come to understand that no amount of worry, frustration, despair or rushing about intoxicated by panic or impatience will speed anything up or diminish the unknowable. The unknowable is just as vast and dark as the origins of patience, therefore, common sense tells me to stay rooted in the present. I can be patient with this very moment and in doing so I will find the strength to continue moving forward, one tiny step at a time.
🍀The Crazy Celt 💚