Part 4-Love Letters to Life
( and all the things I’ve been meaning to say for the last 45 years. )
I still have so many questions and I don’t foresee that ever changing. It seems that the older I get and the more I learn, the less, I realize, that I actually know. This only leads to further curiosity and the more curious I become, the more I want to learn. Socrates said, “wisdom begins with wonder.” If wisdom could be counted, like pearls, then I could only imagine that it would be infinite, like the salt in the ocean or the stars in the Universe; boundless, unending and expanding. Would it, not then, be an impossibility to gain all the wisdom that exists? I tend to believe it would be because you are as dynamic and fluid as the cycle of water….always in the process of change and as hard as we try to keep up with our own expanding knowledge, it too is growing and changing at an exponential rate. So, it seems that no matter how hard we try or how much we learn and discover, your secrets will always be lingering in an ungraspable future.
It seems odd that my moments of clarity and deep understanding, don’t come when I’m desperately seeking or chasing an answer. No, those moments of clarity, more often, come when I am able to find my stillness and quiet surrender. I could compare it, in like, to the daunting task of catching a butterfly. Butterflies are so fleeting and unpredictable, one can never tell if they have a purposeful direction or if they are floating with the changing breeze. I suppose it could be a bit of both…but their unpredictability make them a difficult capture. How ironic it is that when the intention to entrap this, colorfully winged creature, has disappeared, and submission to afternoon yawns finds me dozing on a carpet of green, I may open my eyes to find a butterfly or two, nestled in my hair.
When the grasping is gone, the answers come.
Maybe the deepest wisdom comes in knowing that not everything is meant for our understanding and we should take comfort in that knowledge, but isn’t it the very boundaries of our minds that drive us to push past our own limitations? However, if we can’t ethically keep up, due to unknown variables, don’t we then become, not the disaster waiting to happen, but the disaster that is happening? It’s inevitable. Yet, it is in our very nature to adventure and go in pursuit of new discoveries. Maybe it’s all about the intention behind our actions that really matter? The ‘why’, the motivation that drives us to any action, should always be taken into consideration and with great care and responsibility.
Like plucking out an eyelash…..
Who does that? It’s not normal! Unless, of course, you are me and have a disturbing discovery of a single, white eyelash, that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. Ah yes, I’ve already come to terms with the silver strands upon my head, but a single, very long, white eyelash was a bit unexpected. What did it mean? Am I something “special” because I have one?
Well….thank you so much for helping me see that, in fact, I am nothing special, because many people have them and indeed, it does have meaning…..
It’s a big, flapping in my face, reminder that I have reached the lovely destination of “middle age”. Oh YAY! (sarcasm)
Then I thought of all we’ve been through together…..A LOT! Some of it has been horrifying but most of it has been amazing and I, truly, wouldn’t change a thing! Not even the white eyelash!
So, after doing the unimaginable, by plucking out an eyelash…..I’m very happy to say that it did grow back and I’ve finally made peace with that white eyelash, as well as, the unknowing of the ungraspable future.
Forever in wonder,
📚The Crazy Celt 💚