Part 1 – Love Letters to Life
(…and all the things I’ve been meaning to say for the last 45 years. )
Isn’t it ironic that after all of these years, all the pushing and shoving and “me the ego” wanting my own way, after unfathomable amounts of times yelling at you with deep disapproval and defiance, I have finally fallen madly in love with you? Head over heels, truly, madly, deeply in love with you.
There were times, in fact many times, along the way that I couldn’t bare the thought of one more day, hour or second with you. Somehow we’ve made it through the darkest storms, which unraveled in my head; like fishing line after a horrible cast. Those moments when I thought I was aiming in the right direction and it seemed as if everything was going okay. The times I was so proud of myself for the gracefullness of my patience and then with a tug of progression, my patience turned to excitement as the weight gave me the false impression that something amazing was about to happen, but come to find out, I was actually raising a sunken toilet rather than the long desired prize. All those confusing moments that would later become the crystal clear defining moments of my personal growth and change.
Yes, we’ve made it to sunny days and quiet contemplation. We’ve made it to the soft shores of compassion, where the rambling water can transport me backwards or forward in time. Where the sunlight illuminates the liquid ripples, borrowing my thoughts to create the story of us.
I suppose part of the problem was that I thought we were separate some how. There were times I thought you had it out for me, but the truth is, I just didn’t understand. Every time I pointed my finger to blame you, I eventually saw my own reflection. The longer it took me to realize that we were one, the more unpleasant and painful it would be. Of course this lesson would come to me many times over the years and almost never in the exact same way.
Yes, you’re quite the “Fun House” and yes, I know, I resemble that remark. Of course this “Fun House” does not come complete with a map of trap doors, slides and mazes. No, that would be far too easy. What would you be if you werent handing out some bumps, lumps and bruised egos along the way, right? We certainly couldn’t call you Life anymore. It would be cool if you’d take a Union break every once in a while or better yet if there were at least some illuminated emergency exits along the way. It’s just a suggestion.
Honestly, I’ve come to enjoy the crazy adventures and I’ve given up trying to figure out what is going to happen next. Truth is, it has always turned out better than I’ve expected. Even if, at the end, I feel like I’ve just gone through an extended, unbalanced washing cycle with 5 pairs of hiking boots. Even still, I’ve learned I really have nothing to complain about.
I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you so well, for example; how not to take you too seriously, how close you are with Time and how fleeting you both can be when you run off with each other. I will certainly never take you for granted again and I’ll cherish you while you’re mine.
Yes, I do believe it is ironic….
a clever, paradoxical,contemptuous, witty schtick.
….and P.S. I love you.
♈The Crazy Celt💚